


Culture, Phil!

by brookwrites



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2017!Phan, Amazingphil - Freeform, DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, Dan Howell - Freeform, Daniel Howell - Freeform, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phan Fluff, Phandom - Freeform, Phanfiction, Phil Lester - Freeform, Prostitution, brothel, danisnotonfire - Freeform, dap, dnp, phan oneshot, phanfic, singapore!phan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-18 04:50:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13092762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brookwrites/pseuds/brookwrites
Summary: Dan and Phil stumble across a brothel in Singapore. What can it hurt to stay a few minutes?





	Culture, Phil!

The skybar was a bad idea. Why do we go to skybars every time we go on vacation? It’s not the sky that’s the problem. It’s the bar. I hold a tipsy Dan as he stumbles down the sidewalk. He’s sober enough to not do something completely stupid, but drunk enough to do something fairly stupid. The question, though, is what’s the definition of “fairly stupid”? 

“Phiiiiiwwwww…” The slur is evident in Dan’s voice as he speaks to me. “I gotta goto the bathrooooooom!” 

I search the street and look up for our hotel, only to find that it’s blocks away. Finding the only business that seems to be open, I take Dan inside, find the bathroom, and lead him in. Sitting on a bar stool, I look around the building we’ve found our way into. 

It appears to be a bar of some sorts. There’s food, and television, and, of course, beer: lots of beer. It doesn’t seem very sanitary either. There’s mold on the walls and stains on the floor, and the odd, yet familiar scent wafting through the bar tells me it’s not a good place to be. But it isn’t until she sits down beside me that I know we need to leave as soon as possible. 

“Hey, hot stuff.” I turn my head slightly to see a girl, no older than 25 and most likely a local, sitting beside me. She’s scantily clad in a skirt so short I can see that she’s wearing a thong and a bright pink bra. Looking around the room, I finally discover why I felt so bad about this place. It’s a brothel. 

It’s then when Dan comes out of the bathroom. “Who’re youuu? Are you tryn’a steal my boyfriend?” This can’t end well. 

“Wait, you’re gay? What are you doing here?” 

“He needed to use the bathroom…” I blush awkwardly, not knowing how I managed to find myself in this situation. 

“Oh, it’s one’a those whorehouses, isn’t it!” Dan blurts out, turning multiple heads. 

I chuckle nervously. “Haha… Sorry… He’s a bit drunk… We should get going.” 

“Nah, let’s stay awhile!” 

He’s drunker than I thought. “I really think we should go, Dan. Isn’t this illegal?” 

“C’mon! Culture, Phil!” 

“But-”

“Culture, Phil!”

I’ve never been able to say no to him. “Fine, but only for a little while.” I twist my bar stool around to face the bar. “Beer, please.” 

Watching Dan dancing with a bunch of prostitutes wasn’t how I planned to spend my night, but here we are. I’m almost jealous, to be honest. I know he’s drunk, but what if he’s really enjoying that without me? But also what if we literally get arrested. I ponder this for a few minutes before I see one of the girls take Dan’s hand and take him through a door. That’s the last straw for me. 

I sprint to the door and fling it open to see a drunkenly chuckling Dan arm in arm with a tall, half-naked woman. “Dan!” 

He turns back to see me and smiles. “Hey, Phiw! Howya doin?” 

“I think it’s time to go.”

“Aw! But this nice lady was gonna show me her toy collection!” I roll my eyes at the prostitute. 

“We’re leaving.” I take Dan’s hand and walk out of the bar. The fresh air hits us both as we walk down the sidewalk, Dan still stumbling his way towards our hotel. 

‘Culture, Phil!’ I sigh. Such culture. I’ll take him to an art museum tomorrow. Show him some real culture.


End file.
